The Whore Church | Merchants of Awful

snow fuck yourself

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Roil Vulture

Like, if someone was going to say “go fuck yourself” snow fuck.. yeah you got it. It’s been a long time, sorry. My brother and I have been out lazy-ing eachother and also we’ve been working on the new tape but that doesn’t mean we should punish you lovely lovely internet folk and since a great deal of us are getting snowed in today or something like that, we’ll give you a distraction other than your aunts talking about how much it’s snowing. For example, I doubt your aunts are posting giant dick arms. Just sayin’

When getting ready for the ultimate snowbound Friday party you’ll need choice jamz. Like Vampire.

Dick devil is the best devil. Try and dispute that!

Posted in Friday, THRASH | Tagged demonic furby, devil dick, dick devil, satans cock, satans dick, The Whore Church, thewhorechurch, vampire, whore church | Leave a comment

First Caturday post of 2013! All your fucks are belong to us!

Posted on January 19, 2013 by Roil Vulture

2013 hasn’t had a Caturday post yet! What the fuck US? Well let’s fix this losing streak, get some godamn cat’s up in this piece. Caturday! GO!

Wait? Cat’s like Collective Soul? C’mon cat’s…. I thought you knew better than that.

I don’t know what these little bastards are doing or trying to do but it’s pretty awesome. Liddlebabeeekittowwwwwsss!

hahaha I have NO idea what the fuck is going on here. Not totally unlike Vore porn, this shit is filed into the category of “Who the fuck took the days to make this?” Whatever, internet is raw as fuck sometimes. Oh yeah!!! What the fuck are you buttholes doing tommorow night?

We will be all up in RI TOMORROW (1/20/13) and screening of Vol. 1! It’s gonna be great, come party with Beer Cop, Mr. Tasty, Roil and myself and get drunk as fuckkk. We’ve got some special pre-show stuff that you can only catch at one of our live shows, and after Vol. 1 a very special screening of the AIP classic trash fest Alien Space Avenger! We put on a good show, I promise. See you there!

Posted in Caturday! | Tagged Caturday!, The Whore Church, thewhorechurch, whore church | Leave a comment

RI EXTRANVAGANJA! 1/20/13

Posted on January 18, 2013 by SleazeeVulture

That’s right nerds! The awesome dudes from the Arkham Film Society have invited us to party with them! We will be all up in RI this coming Sunday (1/20/13) screening of Vol. 1! It’s gonna be great, come party with Beer Cop, Mr. Tasty, Roil and myself and get drunk as fuckkk. We’ve got some special pre-show stuff that you can only catch at one of our live shows, and after Vol. 1 a very special screening of the AIP classic trash fest Alien Space Avenger!

If you’ve seen vol. 1 before you will definitely recognize quite a few clips from this flick. It also stars Kirk Fogg of Legends of the Hidden Temple fame! We’ve made our own drinking game (drink when someone gets shot) for it. Bring all your dumb fiends, it’s only $5! It’s ass-tastic!

It’s gonna rule, this much.

SEE YOU THERE!!!