Stranger than fiction

The world is a fuckin’ weird place. And we here at the whore church, we’re a couple a fuckin’ weird dudes posting pictures and videos of weird shit. But ain’t nothing weirder than reality. Truth is often times stranger than fiction

Officer: “Here’s a ticket for $1,000 kid.”
You: “Aw man.. Why?”
Officer: “Your rims are too fucking small.”

Karaoke R.Kelly makes me lose CONTROL

Yeah you know, putting a shirt on IS a fucking waste. Good call.

“That’s a huuuuuuuuge bitch!”

I’d have thrown a ‘totally’ in there. Like, “TOTALLY AWESOME COUGARS”

Fuck man.. Fuck.
A: Good one
B: How the fuck old are you? Shouldn’t you be playing black ops or something?

How heinous is your muddy calamari ring that you get FLIES? FLIES!!!

When a tranny tells you ‘hit this henny’ DO NOT HIT THAT HENNY!

When being a totally useless fat piece of shit, it’s important to STAY a totally useless fat piece of shit. Standing up, taking a few steps… That only burns calories.

Officer: “What did I tell you about those rims?? STILL too fucking small! Jail!”
You: “You guys have pizza?”