The Whore Church | Merchants of Awful

There’s a monster in my closet

Posted on October 17, 2011 by Roil Vulture

October is in full effect and the brothers have some KILLER halloween announcements (soon.) We’ve been powering through tall stacks of shitty old horror tapes so it seems fitting that we simultaneously have a Monster Monday and a Music Video Monday in the same motherfucking Monday.I’m not sure how I missed this video before (probably because I don’t like the song) but it’s pretty killer.

Well I gotta tell you.. I feel much better. It may be monday, but it don’t have to suck!

Posted in art, monsters, Music Video | Tagged chad vangalen, frank franzetta, molten light, monster, monster pictures, Music video, Rob Zombie, russian predator, sick bubblegum, The Whore Church, thewhorechurch, whore church | Leave a comment

Lazy Caturday

Posted on October 15, 2011 by Roil Vulture

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to work on a caturday? Bullshit! We’d rather be taking cat naps, playing video games and drinking coffee. Oh baby kitties, let us live vicariously through you! Be our wildest fantasies!

Aww.. That looks like so much more fun! Hmph. Well if somebody had to have a fun caturday I’m guess I’m glad it was you guys.

Posted in Caturday! | Tagged cats, Caturday!, cute kittens weed cats, sleepy kittens, The Whore Church, thewhorechurch, video game cats, whore church | Leave a comment

The secrets to a perfect Friday.

Posted on October 14, 2011 by SleazeeVulture

First thing is first, ut’s Friday so you MUST thrash.

Alright now that we have the thrashing out of the way, lets get on to some other serious Friday biz.
It is always important to start your day with a good breakfast, hopefully you remembered to do this today. We suggest getting a nice tar coating on the inside of your meal before throwing it in the pan.

Then onto cooking. Trying to keep it romantic.

Get all your paperwork and bills and shit paid so you don’t even have to think about that garbage on the weekend…

Ok good, now thrash again. You’ve earned it.

Ok now it’s time for actual Friday shit. Get all your fiends together and celebrate!

get some cars, this shit is crucial.

Don’t forget booze, booze is very important..

If you did it all successfully, you should have had a kickass Friday. If not, there is always next week. Celebrate either way with more fucking metal!