The Whore Church | Merchants of Awful

I don’t remember my childhood being… sexy?

Posted on January 3, 2012 by Roil Vulture

I don’t know if it’s because I just wasn’t thinking of stuff like this when I was a child or it didn’t exist yet (internet wasn’t a thing back then either) but the characters from my childhood have returned! I sure as shit don’t remember them like this though..

Jinkies! Even completely asexual characters like Smurfette have bizzaro zaro renditions to fap to

Ariel from the little mermaid is way too easy. Ursala is better, but I still don’t like tentacle porn so..

Clarissa! You too? I’m telling Ferguson!

I’m pretty sure pikachu was a dude and I certainly never saw it doing any fucking duck lips before

Cheetarah and Panthro had secret fuck things going on. Weird fuck parties I bet.

Chicks from video games WERE kind of too hot / not humanly possible but thank goodness for Nerds with sewing skills and lots of free time.

must… play… darkstalkers… now..

Posted in anime guns, nerd shit | Tagged cosplay, hentai, The Whore Church, thewhorechurch, whore church | Leave a comment

Aliens are the best.

Posted on January 2, 2012 by SleazeeVulture

With the new Prometheus trailer out,

We have been on a big ol’ Aliens kick, and you know what? Aliens really are the best. Here’s some proof in case you don’t believe us yet.

See? Even babes love aliens!

Posted in art, Gif's, Horror, ladies, monsters, Photos, trailers | Tagged aliens, batman, h.r. geiger, predetor, prometheus, ridley scott | Leave a comment

2012 (motherfuckers)

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Roil Vulture

Ahh 2011 you dirty son of a bitch. In the words of the very wise Peter Venkman “We came, we saw, we kicked it’s ass!” We had a great year for Whore Church, screened “Visually Transmitted Disease” at Burning Man, made a video for Bill Lustig (which he really liked), rocked the fuck out at Boston Underground Film Fest & had endless jamz over at the Coolidge Corner. 2012 is ALSO the year we release our first full length mixtape (for reals this time, no bullshit) so stay tuned for that shit. We are both psyched to be entertaining you sick fucks one more year. First item of business, new years smut.

Next item of business: New Years Jamz! I’ve gotten back into the sugar cubes Hard so some Bjork Jamz.

I fucking love the sugar cubes. I also Love Johnny Ryan

He’s been dominating twitter this morning. It Rules. ( @MrJohnnyRyan )
Q: How long does it take a Mayan woman to shit? A: 9 months. #Mayanjokes2012
How do you hide your money from a Mayan? Put it under a bar of soap. #Mayanjokes2012
What do you call a Mayan having a shower? A miracle. #Mayanjokes2012

Fuck yeah 2012 good start so far. Time for another bloody mary. BALLER!