The Whore Church | Merchants of Awful

Apocalpse MEOW.

Posted on May 21, 2011 by Roil Vulture

The fabled apocalypse of may 21st 2011 has been postponed because even Jesus Christ himself knows not to fuck with caturday. The dawn has come! And it wants yer catnip!!!

THE RAPTURE ! It’s…. BEAUTIFUL!

That’s not the Apocalpyse I was talking about. But it’s pretty good. Carry on!

Night of the living dead would have been pretty scary if it were cats right?

Not as much scary as it is fucking adorable. Zombie cats are out, what about….

It’s like night of the fucking lepus! WITH CATS!!!

Puking is definately the best way to break up a fight

Your gonna need some Caturday Jams to celebrate the non-apocolypse!

Posted in Caturday! | Tagged apocalpyse, apocalpyse cats, apocalpyse may 21st, apocalpyse meow, apocalpyse party, apocalpyse tits, cats, Caturday!, The Whore Church, whore church, whorechurch | Leave a comment

THIS COULD BE OUR LAST FRIDAY! THRASH EXTRA HARD!

Posted on May 20, 2011 by SleazeeVulture

That’s right folks, if these people are correct…

Oh wait…wrong rapture…If THESE people are right..

(nice hatchback bitch) this could be our last normal Friday EVER! So you know what we gotta do, thrash EXTRA hard today and all through the night (like you need an excuse)!

There is a direct correlation between the amount of shit you smash and how cool your day will be. Wendy O pretty much invented this fact.

You know what, forget it, it would be pretty cool if all the assholes got sucked off the face of the earth, then there would only be cool dudes like Lemmy to party with.

Ugh, Lemmy throws the sickest pool parties…

Danzig would definitely be around too, he could read all of us stories about about serious ass wolf stuff.

And this kid, I can just tell he’s not going anywhere…

Well that’s it for today, I’ve got some drinking to do. Good luck folks, be sure to shoot us the address for all the blood orgies you sick fucks will be holding tonight, we’ll be sure to make an appearance…

Posted in Friday, Misc, Music, Music Video, Photos, tits, Video | Tagged danzig, jesus, lemmy, may 21st 2011, nuns, plasmatics, rapture, tits, wendy o williams, wolf shit | Leave a comment

God is a bannana

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Roil Vulture

Whenever I wrote papers in college that had to be of a certain word length, I would splash the paper with beautiful words, nonsensical things and find ways of saying the same thing a few different ways. Such is theology sometimes and seriously if you actually believe that the shape of a banana is proof that god exists… Your a fucking idiot. Suck dicks Kirk Cameron!

Uh.. It’s called pasteurization you fucking idiot.

Perry mason would smash this dudes face with a gavel. Conjecture you fucking idiot! Mandatory masturbation!

Someone who plays a fucking idiot on TV talks sense on other TV.

Stephen Baldwin is a fucking idiot but we knew that before.

Votes out on this one, we’d be fucking idiots if we told you what to believe, but thanks for making the whore church, your church of the minute.

Why question where the good things in life came from? It’s right there and she wants some of your beer. Righteous