Good news! If you happen to be featured in any of the pictures below, it means you’ve been officially selected as a Valentine’s date for me, Sleazee Vulture. Now now, don’t get too excited, you’re going to have to find your own way out to Boston, but I will make you a nice dinner of macaroni and cheese with hot dogs in it. Then we can drink homemade four lokos while I tell you about how nice your feet are. The evening will end while we take bong rips and watch King Diamond videos on VHS. It will be an awesome time. Promise.
…fine, I’ll get you a bus ticket, but only one way.
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