The Whore Church | Merchants of Awful

Last minute gift ideas (for us)

Posted on December 24, 2012 by Roil Vulture

Listen, I know you waited till the last minute to shop for your favorite internet brothers but we won’t hold that against you. Here’s a couple of things you can get us.
A new bike

A new musical instrument

A pretty dolly

New playstation controllers

All the monies

Actually, fuck that. All the monies & All the Weeds

A new camera

A new coloring book

Some new fuck tapes that we HAVEN’T seen before

NUDES

but seriously though, send nudes. Oh, and if you have no money in the budget for us because you are a cheapass, you could always just share the YULE LOG mixtape with your friends! That’s super fucking easy, you should all do that right now

Also download the UNCENSORED version! http://tracker.zaerc.com/torrents-details.php?id=15304

Posted in Christmas, the whore church, thewhorechurch | Tagged christmas list, The Whore Church, whore curch, Yule Log | Leave a comment

Apocalypse cancelled: Caturday continues

Posted on December 22, 2012 by Roil Vulture

What a weak, dry, popcorn fart that apocalypse was huh? I guess it’s for the best, there are so many more images of Cat’s on the internet that haven’t found their way to the whore church. That’s a fucking shame but we’ll do our best. All in one picture, a pretty lady, tits, cat brooch + the cat looks like it’s made of prime rib. fuck yes dudes

you beautiful hero! We love you forever!

Posted in Caturday! | Tagged cat apocalypse, cat gifs, cat lazers, cat pirate, cat tits, The Whore Church, thewhorechurch. caturday, whore church | Leave a comment

looks like chocolate, tastes like shit.

Posted on December 20, 2012 by Roil Vulture

I’ve been asked a couple of times, “what’s with that red potty mouthed demon from the tape? Is that a movie?” Well, yes. It is a movie but more importantly it was a cable access show. It’s the motherfucking jerkbeast from washington, the brain child of the band ‘popular shapes’ it tells the story of the worst band in the world getting huge commercial success and just fucking shit up in general. It’s brilliant. I hadn’t seen anything from these guys for a while, then I looked. They did chat roulette. Awesome.

So anyways, now you know. And knowing is half the battle unless the battle is human decency. And then you got splattered against the trenches. Bummer